Selling wine…

All too often I have to go stand in a store somewhere and try to sell Kestrel wine.  This is a really hard job, since I can’t pour the wine.  I am there like the sample ladies, but all I can do is sign people’s bottles.  Big whoopee!  Occasionally, you do experience some really interesting characters though.  Like the time when one of my co-workers was doing a gig and some crazy dude came up to the table and scooped all the bottles of wine onto the floor.  During this outburst he was shouting that my co-worker-who was incredibly religious-was going to hell for selling the devil’s drink.  Another time I was standing behind the table of our wine in a store and a guy came up to me and said. “Do you drink this $***.”  My immediate response was. “I make this $***, ***hole.”  He slunk away without another word.  My classic story begins when a guy came up to me and said.  “You have really nice teeth.”  Then he reached up to his mouth with one hand and plucked his teeth right out of his mouth.  He then held out his hand and gave them to me.  As soon as his still wet and warm teeth hit the palm of my hand, I realized what had just happened.  How utterly stupid could I be to let someone put their teeth in my hand.  What was I thinking?  That was the problem.  I wasn’t thinking.  I vaguely remember him going on about how great his dentist was and if I ever need any work done he would give me his number.  Meanwhile, I am standing there with a handful of teeth wishing things like:  Take them back….. How did I get myself into this mess…….Go away…….  I don’t care about your dentist…..  Finally, he did pick them out of my hand and plopped them back into his mouth.  He continued talking, but I didn’t hear anything.  I was too dumbfounded.  I just hid behind my smile.  You do really meet some colorful people out and about.  I’ll be in a store near you soon.  If anything colorful happens I’ll be sure to share it with you.